I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
