RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
