all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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