I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
