There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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