That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize