Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
