I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize