Where is the hickey?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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