Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
