I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
