considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize