On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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