erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize