Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
