How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Semen is not good for contacts.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
