I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
