May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
