I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize