I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
