before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
