marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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