She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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