he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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