I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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