i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
