Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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