Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
