I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize