I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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