You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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