i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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