Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
