using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
