Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
