Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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