The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
