do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
