if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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