this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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