so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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