Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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