You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
