I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
