My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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