Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.

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(734): View more from Michigan

those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!

(269): View more from Michigan

...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college

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(513): View more from Ohio

you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song

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(785): View more from Kansas

U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick

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(416): View more from Toronto

They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?

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