It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
