i need an iv and a liver transplant
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
