who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Operation Purity has been aborted
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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