So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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