Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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