Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
