I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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