I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
