Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
