If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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