This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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