I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
