I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
