Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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