Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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