do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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