He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize