so that wasnt chicken after all
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize