I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
